OF FEELING DEMOTIVATED AND STUCK, AND FINDING INSPIRATION TO ASPIRE

Just like any other 20-something year-old, I am dealing with an identity crisis. I don’t know exactly what I’m doing with my life, and I don’t know what I want from my life. I lost my burning passion for a lot of things, and I’m trying to get out of that state of mind and be more motivated, passionate and determined. For the past year, I’ve been living my life in a routine. I wake up every day, go to work, come home, go to sleep then wake up the next day and do the exact same thing. Other things like studying, working out, meeting friends; these were all just things that kept me busy. I tried keeping myself on my feet. I tried to stay active but I still come home with an emptiness in my heart, and in my soul. I feel uninspired.

I haven’t been writing for the same reason. I am uninspired. I want to write, but I can’t write because I don’t know what to write about. It’s not another simple case of a writer’s block. I can’t simply write up an article for the sake of writing an article. I take pride in everything that I do, and I put extra care in every word that I put into my writing. If I can’t be inspired by my writing, who the hell will?

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2017 YEAR IN REVIEW : MY ANNUAL RUNDOWN, AND 2018 NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS

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Wow, I can’t believe another year just went by, again. On every New Year’s day, I like to do some self-reflection and come up with my New Year’s resolutions. It feels like it was only yesterday that I was sitting at my desk and typing out my 2016 year in review.

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OF MENTAL HEALTH AND SUICIDAL THOUGHTS : MOURNING MY FAVOURITE KPOP ARTIST

Yesterday, I received shocking news about the suicide of my favourite k-pop artist, Kim Jonghyun, while I was at a yoga studio I’ve been going to regularly. I just finished a Pound Fitness class when my friend texted me to ask if I heard about it yet.

If you don’t know, I have been a huge k-pop fan since I was 13 years old. At the time, I fell in love with a k-pop group called SHINee. It’s a group of five boys and I’ve been a devoted fan and supporter ever since. I sat at my computer everyday to make sure I was all caught up on the latest SHINee news. I was on Omonatheydidn’t (a k-pop forum site) everyday. I sat at my television to watch their performances every week. I followed every comeback, every album release, every single release, every music video release, every concert, every award show. I bought every album, I own so many of their posters. So, imagine how sad I was when I heard the heart-wrenching news. Jonghyun was my favourite member so it made the news even more devastating. And it just made mental health awareness even more prevalent to me.

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dUCk COSMETICS : PRELIMINARY THOUGHTS ON THEIR NEWLY LAUNCHED PRODUCTS

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When dUCk announced that they’re launching their very own cosmetics line, I was pretty intrigued because they finally decided to join the massive line of local beauty brands. I think they have a lot of potential to fill in the gap that we have in the local beauty industry and since they have a huge following as well, I’m pretty sure they have a lot of eyes on them. Everyone has high expectations, including myself. I was really counting on them to set the bar for the local beauty industry because they do have a lot of potential. However, now that they’ve revealed the products, launched on FashionValet and a store in Pavilion Kuala Lumpur, I must say I’m not very impressed.

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LIFE LATELY : BEING AN ABSOLUTE MESS AND FINDING COMFORT IN IT

 

If you haven’t noticed, I have been distant from this site but that’s completely unintentional. I just haven’t had the time to focus on my blog that much. I have been very busy with life, with trying to cope with work and school, keeping up with my friends and maintaining a social life. At the same time, I’m trying to squeeze in as much “me” time as I can, as much down time as I can. I obviously only want to give you guys the best that I can so I will never put out content that I am not 100% happy with. I’ve had drafts waiting to be finalised for the longest time and I could only deal with them when I’m 100% focused on the content that I’m putting out. Hence, I deleted some of the drafts that I had because at that time, in that moment, they weren’t something I would like other people to go read.

I have been pretty busy with my 9 to 5 office job and at the same time, attending classes either after working hours or on the weekends. When I’m not doing any of those things, I try to go out and socialize. Or I stay at home and hibernate. When I say hibernate, I literally just do nothing but spend time watching creative content. Even that, I’m struggling with. I have a list of new music, podcasts and shows I want to check out but I haven’t been able to sit down and focus on any of those things. I really like to do things when I’m 100% in the zone, paying attention and being able to process any information that I might get. I haven’t done proper laundry for weeks. I’ve been putting clothes in and out of the washer but they’re all not hung up or folded, which is really bad. I try to find other things that I can enjoy and those things right now are beauty and food. I have been visiting cafes recently and enjoying really good food. It’s the ultimate treat for me. With beauty products, I haven’t had the time to focus on any of them and keep up with my opinions on them throughout their shelf lives so I don’t think I would be able to do individual reviews on any of them but I think, I might just do a round-up favourites post or something like that.

The universe has also gifted with a couple of new kittens two months ago and they are the cutest and most mischievous little creatures ever. Again, I haven’t been able to pay any attention to them so they are lacking a lot of human touch but I’ll try to give them more love once I clear out some of the things I’ve been working on. A month ago, I’ve  found interest in a member of the opposite sex and I’m really keen on starting a romantic relationship, getting back into dating people but I honestly haven’t had enough mental capacity to again, focus on all of this. It’s just too much for me right now. My life is pretty crazy right now, I am all over the place. I don’t have my shit together and I think, as much as I would like to be this calm and collected person, I know that everybody is still trying to figure their lives out so it’s completely okay to be an absolute mess.

I hope you could find comfort in knowing that I, too, don’t have my shit together so if you think you don’t have your shit together, you’re not alone.

Talk again soon,
Hani Lutfi

SKIN UPDATE : HOW FACIALS HAVE CHANGED MY SKINCARE GAME

It has been three months since I shared my skincare routine  and since then, I have been trying out new skincare products, going on a skincare diet and going to facials. I have seen a great improvement in my skin since then. I don’t breakout as often anymore. When I do, it goes away quite fast. My skin has been feeling really smooth, supple and looking really healthy despite of my acne scars, which I still have and will continue to have as long as I have acne. The one thing that has contributed to my skin’s massive improvement is getting facials regularly.

I used to never get facials because I know they hurt. They are really painful, especially if you have low tolerance to pain like I do. I am so scared of pain and I always avoid it but when my skin felt really congested in April, I thought facials would help because I needed a professional to deep cleanse skin. So, I went to True Harmony and got my face checked out and taken care of. If you’re not familiar with facials, what they usually do is they would 1) cleanse your face, 2) put on a cleanse-off mask, 3) steam your face, 4) extract all your whiteheads and zits, 5) put on another face mask. At True Harmony, there are two types of facial treatment and I’ve been getting the High Frequency Facial (RM88 per session) where they treat my skin with an LED light to get rid of any existing bacteria, as an additional step. I’ve gone to True Harmony four times since April and I really do notice that as time went by, my skin improves after each session.

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REVIEW : PONY EFFECT COVERSTAY CUSHION FOUNDATION

If you don’t know who Pony is, she is a remarkable make-up artist and beauty Youtuber. I love watching her beauty content because she is so good at what she does and she gives out great make-up tips! She also has her own make-up line called Pony Effect, under Memebox, a Korean cosmetics company. One of my favourite beauty vloggers, Edward Avila, is beyond obsessed with her and he has done a lot of reviews on her products. They are a series of hits and misses but I’ve always been intrigued to check it out. When I got news that she released three new shades for her cushion foundations and one of them would match my skintone, I bit the bullet and got one of them.

Pony Effect has three cushion foundations; the Everlasting cushion foundation, the Longwear Defense cushion foundation and the one I’m reviewing right now, the Coverstay cushion foundation. The Everlasting cushion foundation is targeted towards dry skin and promises a hydrating formula with a dewy/glowy finish, the Longwear Defense promises to help protect the skin from pollution and with the Coverstay cushion foundation, it is targeted towards oily skin and promises an oil-absorbing formula with a matte finish. I have oily and dehydrated skin, but my skin produces a lot of oil throughout the day. Usually by noon, I would have used up one and a half blotting sheets. So I decided to grab the Coverstay cushion foundation and try it out.

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