LIFE LATELY : BEING AN ABSOLUTE MESS AND FINDING COMFORT IN IT

 

If you haven’t noticed, I have been distant from this site but that’s completely unintentional. I just haven’t had the time to focus on my blog that much. I have been very busy with life, with trying to cope with work and school, keeping up with my friends and maintaining a social life. At the same time, I’m trying to squeeze in as much “me” time as I can, as much down time as I can. I obviously only want to give you guys the best that I can so I will never put out content that I am not 100% happy with. I’ve had drafts waiting to be finalised for the longest time and I could only deal with them when I’m 100% focused on the content that I’m putting out. Hence, I deleted some of the drafts that I had because at that time, in that moment, they weren’t something I would like other people to go read.

I have been pretty busy with my 9 to 5 office job and at the same time, attending classes either after working hours or on the weekends. When I’m not doing any of those things, I try to go out and socialize. Or I stay at home and hibernate. When I say hibernate, I literally just do nothing but spend time watching creative content. Even that, I’m struggling with. I have a list of new music, podcasts and shows I want to check out but I haven’t been able to sit down and focus on any of those things. I really like to do things when I’m 100% in the zone, paying attention and being able to process any information that I might get. I haven’t done proper laundry for weeks. I’ve been putting clothes in and out of the washer but they’re all not hung up or folded, which is really bad. I try to find other things that I can enjoy and those things right now are beauty and food. I have been visiting cafes recently and enjoying really good food. It’s the ultimate treat for me. With beauty products, I haven’t had the time to focus on any of them and keep up with my opinions on them throughout their shelf lives so I don’t think I would be able to do individual reviews on any of them but I think, I might just do a round-up favourites post or something like that.

The universe has also gifted with a couple of new kittens two months ago and they are the cutest and most mischievous little creatures ever. Again, I haven’t been able to pay any attention to them so they are lacking a lot of human touch but I’ll try to give them more love once I clear out some of the things I’ve been working on. A month ago, I’ve  found interest in a member of the opposite sex and I’m really keen on starting a romantic relationship, getting back into dating people but I honestly haven’t had enough mental capacity to again, focus on all of this. It’s just too much for me right now. My life is pretty crazy right now, I am all over the place. I don’t have my shit together and I think, as much as I would like to be this calm and collected person, I know that everybody is still trying to figure their lives out so it’s completely okay to be an absolute mess.

I hope you could find comfort in knowing that I, too, don’t have my shit together so if you think you don’t have your shit together, you’re not alone.

Talk again soon,
Hani Lutfi

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