OF FEELING DEMOTIVATED AND STUCK, AND FINDING INSPIRATION TO ASPIRE

Just like any other 20-something year-old, I am dealing with an identity crisis. I don’t know exactly what I’m doing with my life, and I don’t know what I want from my life. I lost my burning passion for a lot of things, and I’m trying to get out of that state of mind and be more motivated, passionate and determined. For the past year, I’ve been living my life in a routine. I wake up every day, go to work, come home, go to sleep then wake up the next day and do the exact same thing. Other things like studying, working out, meeting friends; these were all just things that kept me busy. I tried keeping myself on my feet. I tried to stay active but I still come home with an emptiness in my heart, and in my soul. I feel uninspired.

I haven’t been writing for the same reason. I am uninspired. I want to write, but I can’t write because I don’t know what to write about. It’s not another simple case of a writer’s block. I can’t simply write up an article for the sake of writing an article. I take pride in everything that I do, and I put extra care in every word that I put into my writing. If I can’t be inspired by my writing, who the hell will?

Five years ago, I would be happy to be where I am right now. I’m taking an international exam, I have a job, I have good relationships with my loved ones. I’m living my dream. I’ve achieved my goals which I had five years ago.

So, now what? What do I do with my life now that I have what I wanted when I was 17? I need more. I want more. I want to do more with my life, I want to be more in my life. I’ve been thinking to myself, “What am I most passionate about right now?”. It’s a very important question because I can’t do anything without passion. I can’t possible have the motivation and drive to do and achieve anything if I don’t and can’t put my heart and soul into the things that I do. Today, I finally decided on my passion project.

Me.

I am my passion project.

I’m going to work on myself, on my soul. I’m going to build and rebuild more bridges. I’m going to be a better person for myself and my loved ones. I’m going to take better care of myself. Exercise more, eat better, live healthier. I’m going to be more productive and proactive at work. I’m going to increase my skillset so I can ace my job. I’m going to read more, learn more, travel more.

And as I go along and do all of these things, maybe I will find my passion. I will find something to fill the gap I have in my life. It’s going to take some time but I’m going to make sure I savour every second so that when I get to my destination, I’ll remember what I had to go through to get there.

It’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey.

Talk again soon,
Hani Lutfi

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