I came home from a brief outdoor workout only to sit on my bed, feeling super grateful and liberated and the first thing I thought was, I want to document this moment. So, I turned on my laptop and decided to write this post.
I know I have been very MIA lately. I say that all the freaking time but I do feel remorseful for not writing as often as I used to. I have been focusing on myself and my life offline that blogging about it just doesn’t cross my mind. For the past three months, I have been feeling uninspired and lost. I’m 21 years old and I don’t know what I’m doing with my life. I remember sitting in bed one night and just, crying and bawling my eyes out because I felt so horrible about my life. And I felt horrible for feeling horrible because I know I live a very privileged life, especially if compared to millions and millions of girls around the world. Instead of sitting around and hoping I would feel better, I decided to do something about it and I chose to feel better. I chose to be better. I chose to do better. I still feel demotivated and defeated sometimes but every time I do, I pick myself up and push through.
Lately, I’ve been keeping myself busy by working my ass off, keeping up with my studies, my health and my personal development, going on food adventures. I have been reading a book, I have been keeping up with inspiring people and I’m making use of my time. I only have 24 hours in a day just like anybody else but I try to not let any minute go to waste.
I’ve also been very much in love but that’s a story for another time.
If you haven’t noticed, I have been distant from this site but that’s completely unintentional. I just haven’t had the time to focus on my blog that much. I have been very busy with life, with trying to cope with work and school, keeping up with my friends and maintaining a social life. At the same time, I’m trying to squeeze in as much “me” time as I can, as much down time as I can. I obviously only want to give you guys the best that I can so I will never put out content that I am not 100% happy with. I’ve had drafts waiting to be finalised for the longest time and I could only deal with them when I’m 100% focused on the content that I’m putting out. Hence, I deleted some of the drafts that I had because at that time, in that moment, they weren’t something I would like other people to go read.
I have been pretty busy with my 9 to 5 office job and at the same time, attending classes either after working hours or on the weekends. When I’m not doing any of those things, I try to go out and socialize. Or I stay at home and hibernate. When I say hibernate, I literally just do nothing but spend time watching creative content. Even that, I’m struggling with. I have a list of new music, podcasts and shows I want to check out but I haven’t been able to sit down and focus on any of those things. I really like to do things when I’m 100% in the zone, paying attention and being able to process any information that I might get. I haven’t done proper laundry for weeks. I’ve been putting clothes in and out of the washer but they’re all not hung up or folded, which is really bad. I try to find other things that I can enjoy and those things right now are beauty and food. I have been visiting cafes recently and enjoying really good food. It’s the ultimate treat for me. With beauty products, I haven’t had the time to focus on any of them and keep up with my opinions on them throughout their shelf lives so I don’t think I would be able to do individual reviews on any of them but I think, I might just do a round-up favourites post or something like that.
The universe has also gifted with a couple of new kittens two months ago and they are the cutest and most mischievous little creatures ever. Again, I haven’t been able to pay any attention to them so they are lacking a lot of human touch but I’ll try to give them more love once I clear out some of the things I’ve been working on. A month ago, I’ve found interest in a member of the opposite sex and I’m really keen on starting a romantic relationship, getting back into dating people but I honestly haven’t had enough mental capacity to again, focus on all of this. It’s just too much for me right now. My life is pretty crazy right now, I am all over the place. I don’t have my shit together and I think, as much as I would like to be this calm and collected person, I know that everybody is still trying to figure their lives out so it’s completely okay to be an absolute mess.
I hope you could find comfort in knowing that I, too, don’t have my shit together so if you think you don’t have your shit together, you’re not alone.
I think it’s only appropriate to blog on this new website with a Life Lately, telling you what I’ve been up to for the past few weeks, other than working on this new website of course.
After coming back to Malaysia, I stayed with my grandparents in Melaka because I had to take my grandmother to the hospital for her doctor’s appointment. Other than that, I’ve been working. If you don’t know, I work with my Mom’s taxation firm so I’ve been helping out a company based in Negeri Sembilan which I won’t go into details about but that’s what I’ve been doing for the past two months, since the beginning of January. At least, that’s a huge chunk of it.
Hello, happy new year! I know I’ve been absent especially during the new year. While everyone was busy sharing their new year’s resolutions and yearly round-up, I was roaming the streets of Seoul and breathing the cold winter air. This trip meant a lot to me because it was my me time. I contemplated on bringing my dSLR so I can blog about everything but I felt like that would take away most of my experience. As much as I would like to be an active blogger and juggle two devices (vloggers juggle three!) and three to four apps at the same time but I really wanted to take the time to zone out and clear my head for the new year. I did post regularly on Insta-story (I had to exclude Snapchat because again, too much work) so I really hope you didn’t miss that! I wanted to do a mini vlog to post on Instagram, like the ones I did for Matang Wildlife, Annah Rais and Penang but vlogging on my phone would take up a lot of my battery within a few hours so I wanted to avoid that.
I have been quite MIA for the past few months. I was looking through my archives the other day and saw the horrible decline of blog entries that I’ve posted since May and I don’t have any excuses for you guys. I used to be really good about posting, creating content and finding the balance between school, work and my blog. However, I basically just did not have my life put together and I still don’t have it together. My life’s a mess, that’s something I have to admit.
I’ve just been studying, doing my homework, assignments; things that I’ve mentioned time and time again. Because it’s my last semester, I decided to socialise more and make the most out of my time with my friends at school. I normally, never socialise with my schoolmates but the past semester, I just thought, why not? So, that’s what I did. We’ve been out for karaoke, play bowling, going food tasting and a bunch of other stuff. One of my friends, Aisyah, left for the UK to pursue her Degree. At some point, I was super jealous but then I realize that we all have our own journey and our own path to follow in life and if going to the UK is not my path, then it’s totally fine.
After returning to Malaysia and coming back to reality (after my Seoul trip), you might have noticed my absence. I couldn’t post as much as I want to, I didn’t have anything to post really, other than my travel diaries in Seoul. After I returned to Malaysia, I was busy with my sister’s wedding. I was her bridesmaid and I couldn’t sit still. I wasn’t even at the wedding 80% of the time because I had things to take care of.
After the wedding, I quickly went back to school for my final semester. I didn’t expect to get caught up in so much school work but I was given homework and assignments as soon as our session started. By the end of July, I was already drowning in a load of school work, I thought I might die from all the stress and anxiety. I had tests and quizzes to study for, homework to do, assignments to submit. It was all madness.
Now, my semester is finally coming to an end. I only have one more week to get through, in which I have 6 different assignments and projects to submit and 2 tests to sit for. After that, I’ll be flipping through my textbooks and notebooks to study and sit for my final exam.
I know I’ve been pretty MIA in the personal department of this blog but I hope this Life Lately post is enough to compensate for our lost times and brief you on any updates from my life. I don’t think there’s much to tell because I’m still living my same old life, it’s always school, work and this blog. I still am single, I still am student, I still am working the same job and there’s nothing else to it.
However, here are a couple of things that I’ve been up to :